


Dreams of kinder things

by A_Nobelmonster



Series: A galaxy of neurons (Aaron anthology) [2]
Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Fluff, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Past Childhood Abuse, Past Drug Addiction, Poly Relationships, Sleepy Sex, non-sexual forms of intimacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 12:26:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7714816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Nobelmonster/pseuds/A_Nobelmonster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe that’s why they work. Because Neil is never completely submissive but he’ll take whatever Aaron has to offer. Hunger, pain, loathing<br/>Neil takes pain like his body is a shine built to it<br/>It makes Aarons hands want to be kind at the worst times</p><p>alternatively: Aarons drug cravings make an unexpected appearance and Neil provides a convenient distraction</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreams of kinder things

**Author's Note:**

> this is in the same time line as 'wwmwhewc' , this is at least six months from the first story. you can read read either or both the only important thing i suppose to know is that: Andrew and Kaityln respectively know their partners are seeing each other , Andrew is well, accepting about this with some ground rules and the biggest one being that they cannot do any bondage related things or scenes unless he is there. Not to participate  
> (yikes ) but because they are the two people he loves the most and wants to make sure everything is safe and consensual always. (weird control issues)

Finals are done

Aaron looks at the calendar, a vague awareness of the month shaken into startled realization  
As of today he has been sober for two years. He doesn’t count the cracker dust because only his brothers idiot boyfriend would consider something that mild to be a drug.

Neil is kind of his boyfriend too or at least a lover

he’d rather not say lover but fuck buddy or friends with benefits isn’t right either 

He’s highly unpleased to be making so many realizations on a Friday , when he’s just finished his last exam and his brain is begging to be turned off.

Just fucking stop thinking but it’s like being aware of a placebo it just doesn’t work.

If anything it sets off his stressed thoughts like English rain, steady, unending

He thinks about the drugs, how the small green pills reminded him of retro mint wallpaper that had adorned the kitchen walls of a childhood friends house.

How he never hurt on Prozac and codeine even when his mother-  
Well, the most pain she caused Aaron was never when she was beating him

The ghost of his addiction idles like a fog

It wouldn’t be worth it if Andrew found out or Kaitlyn  
Neil

Fuck, it would be too much trouble

But Aaron is tired.  
He’s tired in a way that sleep cant fix, like his soul has run out of everything  
It’s the studying and exy and a life time of not being lovable made evident by his mothers evasive gaze

If he told Kaitlyn she wouldn’t get it but she would try and that would make the fatigue worse

The darkness behind his eye lids temporarily cools his thoughts, his fingers twitch with the muscle memory of holding pills though

He tries to think about how he needs to get around to washing his sheets, that last week he found out that Andrews favorite movie as a kid was Jurrasic Park and how Neil had pawned the lettuce and tomato from his burger at the diner off on Kevin yesterday  
But his throat stops up his breath like a cork  
Why can’t he have better control over his own body?  
Why can’t he just feel better without medicating?

The door open, anger flair’s bright and hot

Go away, im trying to have a melt down. he hates himself for being dramatic but its true

“Are you coming?” Neil looks tired but loose limbed in a way that happens at the end of school, like all the fight has been taken out of you. His auburn hair framing his face, resting gently on the pooling fabric of his PSU hoodie.  
They had plans, with Kevin and Andrew out of town, they were going to meet Dan and the other for an early dinner.

“you don’t know how to knock?” his brains offline and with it the cursing and sharp remarks but there is something scorching in his tone.  
Being this tired makes him vulnerable  
It scares him to be this bare in front of the other man  
Regardless of how many times they have stripped down in front of eachother. There was always a dynamic of power, Aaron took and Neil gave up and Andrew gave

In this moment Aaron doesn’t feel dominating, he feels small and weak

Neil looks him intently as ever  
It’s a look of careful consideration  
A look that he gives Aaron more often than the façade of irritation they are prone to in public  
Whether he’s fucking Neils face or looking across the room during weight training

Maybe that’s why they work. Because Neil is never completely submissive but he’ll take whatever Aaron has to offer. Hunger, pain, loathing  
Neil takes pain like his body is a shine built to it  
It makes Aarons hands want to be kind at the worst times

“I wasn’t interrupting anything” he adopts a shrug that Aaron knows is spent from continuous proximity to his twin. What an asshole.

“come here.” Predictably Neil doesn’t but he doesn’t leave either just leans again the door blocking 3/4ths of the mirror on the back of the door that Kaitlyn bought at Walmart.

“ I don’t like that tone” he says in German, it shows how much Aaron has weakened to Neil that he doesn’t march over to the other man and push him on the bed.

the thing is though  
He wants an easy distraction, not something he has to fight. If its not Neil tonight that it’s drugs. You get to be pretty good at knowing your limits when you hit all of them at a young age.  
and he has a need to do something stupid in the worst way

“Neil.”

Slowly his partner walks over to the bed standing out of touching distance, out of striking distance  
The whole thing is confusing for him too, they’re not shouting or sniping  
Everything is syrup slow and cautious  
This isn’t who they are, it’s not what their relationship is or what they planned  
It’s delicate  
Not like when he kisses Kaitlyn and the resulting smile against his mouth blooms feelings of effortless love  
Its delicate like maybe sometimes ……..maybe they didn’t have to be so hard together  
He’s just too exhausted for those feelings right now. This isn’t something he can take to Kaityln .

This feeling of burning at an anatomic level, a messiness with unpredictable fallout  
Neils Neil and he’s dating his brother, he can handle this without letting it get emotional

“im going to doing something stupid tonight if you don’t come here.” It’s a strange bit of honesty to practice but he knows honesty is something Neil values most.  
Oddly enough for a recovering pathological liar

He reaches out taking Neils scarred hand and tugs him onto the bed, Neil goes down easily laying on his back propped up by his elbows.

“what do you want?” Aaron wants to not think, he wants to step out of the world for a few minutes maybe a few days but he settles on gesturing for Neil to take his shirt off.

“roll over.” A smart answer lingers visibly on the others tongue but he seems to be content to watch whatever Aaron has in mind unfold.  
It’s almost overwhelming how Neil lets himself be in Aarons care and how Andrew trust Aaron to have Neil under his hands.  
He sits on the hem of Neils dark wash jeans, braced so that he’s not putting much pressure on Neils back.  
His hands tremble as he places them on Neils shoulder blades, uncertainty shaking his hands but he lays into Neil with firm circulating motions first at his neck and then moving to his upper arms.

Neils chest exhales as if summoning the energy to question what the fuck is happening and why they aren’t fucking but the shock of Aarons messaging hands quells the inquiry.  
sometimes he also forgets that not long from now his hands will be for healing and not hurting  
Aarons not sure exactly either what he’s doing but his brain and his body don’t seem able to connect very well today so he allowed himself the leeway.  
And a small, hidden part of him had been yearning to treat Neil gently since the first time they jerked eachother off in the lockeroom after a game.  
Or anytime he’s bit and marked up Neil but his anger wouldn’t let him back down

Neil is Andrews , so he’s never needed to treat this arrangement like anything other than what it was but lately and especially when his head is heavy, Neil feels like his too.  
His hands unintentionally tread careful over each scar, at the dip of the iron brand he leans forward with a tentative kiss.  
Thoroughly working through the tense muscles of Neils back, that have long since been well toned from years of exy  
When he feels Neil visibly start to relax into the mattress he becomes more bold, following the path of his hands with his mouth.  
A soft peck to his hips, an open mouthed lazy caress of lips on the lumbar vertebrae of his spine that hitches Neils breath instead of relaxing it.

Aaron climbs off of neil reaching into the bottom drawer of his desk to retrieve a small tube of lubricant and then moves onto his side pulling Neil, whose sleepy and warm against his chest.

He works down Neils pants to his knees with minimal effort from the man himself and then his own shorts  
just enough to expose his dick

This is indulgent, so indulgent he’s not sure he wouldn’t have better off with the drugs considering Neil poses his own risks to Aarons health.  
Indulgent sounds nice though, it sounds simple and easy. It’s just a matter of taking.  
He warms the lube in his hands instinctively so Neil doesn’t bitch (because he knows Neil doesn’t like being cold) and coats himself liberally before sliding into the closed space of Neils thighs.

A slow rhythm is set , Aaron doesn’t want to just get off. hes just fervently trying to not think about how he needs to be close to something that he can’t break right now  
Aaron’s hands are only weapons to himself so he grounds himself in the sleepy languid huffs of Neils breath  
And when Neil tries to move back to meet Aaron thrust, to speed up the process, Aaron puts one hand on Neils hip halting frustrated movement with a bruising grip and the other hand under Neil's head to tip the other mans lips towards his own.  
They don’t kiss. That would be too……..sweet. Even with Aaron in this haze he knows kissing isn’t what he wants  
He just wants to not be in his head, so they hover mouths open barely touching like a tree and bird in symbiosis.

Breath

breathe

maybe tomorrow he’ll tie Neils wrist to the head bored and make him cum until he cries , maybe he’ll put a vibrator on high snug against his prostate and not let him cum for hours

“you're” huff ”….feeling better, I see.” Neils voice surprises him out of contemplation, his eye’s are open doing their best to look at Aaron from the awkward position.  
Aaron moves one hand to their dicks finally touching neil but instead of bringing him closer to orgasm he forms a ring around the base of Neils cock. Neil groans unimpressed, “asshole.”

It’s taking an overwhelming amount of strength not to smack Neils ass but that is not what this is about. This time.

“I’m thinking about how much I miss seeing you bent over with a well spanked ass. You talk less then.”  
Neil flusters, trying not show it but his breath stops momentarily before grinding back with enthusiasm . Aaron lets him for a brief second before distracting him with his calloused hand sliding over both of their dicks

This time is the most they ever talk , Aaron speaks in wickedly thrilling promises and Neil usually doesn’t have the energy or mouth space to but puts in a valiant effort  
The sensation of pushing through soft thighs and under Neils dick is a sensation Aaron is particularly fond of  
But Aarons favorite thing is when they are faced to face

He pulls away with a wet sound and manipulates Neil until he is facing Aaron and they are once more close together  
Crown to crown bowed together and dicks touching , it’s been at least and hour of this slow touching, with orgasm as a reward not a goal  
Neil grows impatient, tries to hasten Aaron hands only to be rewarded with an even slower thrust of hips and lazy fingers  
finally he speeds up without warning

“come for me.” After a minute Neil complies tensing as he cums, Aaron slides his hand off Neils hip guiding it to his dick having to do so by touch alone with his face hiding in the space of Neils neck to avoid stray flecks of cum.

Just feeling the pleased vibration of Neil’s hands tip him over  
no matter the partner, seeing the person he’s with cum always works him up impossibly fast

When his breath slows down he looks up to see Neils eye’s heavy lidded. Being vice-captain and a student takes more of a toll on him than he’d let on.  
And Aaron knows that this was just a well-timed distraction, that he will have to face his addiction again eventually but he’s not gonna cheapen the afterglow with reality just yet.

“I never texted Dan.” Aaron could care less about the dinner plans

“So? Im sure she got the idea that we weren’t coming two hours ago.” Something that passes as both a laugh and a huff comes from Neil next.  
It’s not even nine but Aaron is so done for the day

“you know. You don’t have to be nice to me just because were doing this.” There laying side by side with Neil against the wall, essentially cuddling and this fucker says that.  
Aaron leans over halfheartedly shoving at his bed mate, “shut up” in turn Neil ducks his head looking suspiciously like he’s smiling.

They pass out for a few hours Neil wakes up to Aaron dragging him to the floor with a plate full of pbj  
Neil doesn’t know why they can’t just eat in bed to which Aaron gives a look of contempt before he’s complaining about sleeping with cum and crumbs and Neil  
Somehow he makes it sounds like all are equally awful things.

Neil blurrily shoves the well-made sandwich into his mouth in only a few bites while Aaron scolds him about lacking manners. Washing it down with a whole bottle of water then wiping his mouth with his hand also apparently makes him a heathen. 

but right now things are ok. Neil could care less.  
Slowly sleep makes its need apparent again and as Neil starts dozing in food bliss Aaron yells at him to get back on the bed if he’s going to sleep  
It only takes the promise of not letting Neil leave his bed tomorrow for the tired fox to works his way back under the sheets and waiting arms sleepily pull Neil closer.

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be a 400 word drabble to get me back into writing and then i wrote seven pages.  
> Aaron seems like a person who is constantly tired and i feel that on a spiritual level but in up coming works we will back to the "hate" sex. i have at least two more stories planned for this pairing and Andrew will definitely make more of an appearance next time.


End file.
